Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Jedi Knights, Krystals, and Mullets

Anyone that knows me can tell you that there are certain "things" in this life that have at least greatly impacted if not completely governed my little part of the universe.

The following is but a small sampling of such "things".

1. The ability to make people laugh has served me well throughout the years.

2. If I eat to much, I get fat. If I don't, I get grumpy!

3. Krystal hamburgers (nicknamed "gut bombs")are delicious, but are notorious for causing me "intestinal distress" and vicious bouts of diarrhea.

4. Star Wars is cool. I would love to be a Jedi Knight so I could throw cars from the road that get in front of me and drive to slow.

5. Bigfoot is real. He lives in the woods behind my house.

6. Elvis is dead, but lives on in my sideburns.

7. Being tall is generally cool unless you are looking for pants or having your colon inspected.

8. Getting older affects the body in ways that are unholy.

9. Mullets, playing bass guitar, and Oldsmobile cars can give you a leg up in getting chicks........if you live in the 80's.

And finally, my favorite!

10. Questioning anything about the bible, God, Jesus, "church", or generally anything dealing with Christianity and it's modern practices will always cause people to get ticked off at me!

Even when they know.....it's true!