Sunday, November 22, 2009


Being lost is impossibly hard. You want to be found so very badly, but you don't know how to make it happen. It's like being surrounded by a thick fog without any idea of which way to turn. There are no exit signs, no bread crumbs and no light houses to lead you to safety. You dare not move lest your situation grow worse (if that's possible). So, you sit and watch the fog continually swirl around your head. "Lostness" cripples you with fear and indecision. It mockingly suggests that your situation will never change and deliverance is a word reserved for everyone.....but you! I am in this place and I despise it. I can't seem to hear a voice behind me saying, "this is the way, walk in it". I can't see beyond my eyelashes. My mind is a jumble of "could haves"and "should haves". I do not know where to turn, what to say, or even what to pray. I am lost.

"These are the places I was so sure I'd find Him. I've looked in the pages, and I've looked down on my knees. I've waited in great expectation, to see the sun still refusing to shine."